SUPER LEAGUE GRAND FINAL 2009

Thought I'd get in early by announcing details of the Engage Super League Grand Final for 2009, and it comes as no surprise whatsoever that St Helens and Leeds Rhinos will face each another yet again for a third successive season at the Theatre Of Dreams on Saturday 10th October. Tickets for the Leeds Rhinos V St Helens Grand Final 2009 are already available for purchase.

But hang on... ain't 2009 going to be the strongest, the toughest and the most competitive Super League ever, with so many competing teams in with a golden opportunity of lifting the trophy and becoming champions? If you believe all the bullshit hype on Sky Sports and elsewhere, you might arrive at such a conclusion. If you're equipped with even a rudimentary knowledge of the strengths and weaknesses of each club in Super League, you'll know that there's St Helens, Leeds and the rest who are just there to make up the numbers.

There are five divisions in Super League in 2009.

Super League Division 1: St Helens and Leeds.

Super League Division 2: Daylight!

Super League Division 3: Hull, Hull KR, Wigan, Warrington, Bradford, Wakefield, Harlequins, Castleford, Catalans and Huddersfield.

Super League Division 4: Daylight!

Super League Division 5: Celtic Crusaders and Salford.

Even the bookies agree with this as they quote both St Helens and Leeds at odds of 11/10 or Evens to win the Super League crown this season. Hull are the third favourites at 22/1, Wigan are 33/1, Bradford 50/1, Warrington 66/1 and Catalans 200/1. Celtic Crusaders and Salford are so embarrassingly poor they don't even rate a quotation.

In my most esteemed and sagely opinion, St Helens and Leeds of Super League Division 1 will both finish in the Top 2 yet again and there'll be about a 10 point gap (daylight!) between the club finishing 2nd and the club finishing 3rd on the ladder. At the bottom end of the ladder, Celtic Crusaders and Salford of Division 5 will fight it out for 13th and 14th place, and there will be a significant points gap of about 10 points between the 12th placed club (daylight!) and the 13th placed club. Super League Division 3 will provide plenty of excitement for the feckwitt majority as 10 clubs compete for six play-off places (3rd to 8th) and for the privilege of just making up the numbers in the play-offs. Super League Division 5 will just be plain and simply embarrassing.

By my calculations, there are only 2 fixtures remaining this season which will have any significant bearing on where the silverware will end up this season. And they are?

1. Leeds Rhinos V St Helens, Challenge Cup Round 4, Sunday 5th April, 2009.
2. Leeds Rhinos V St Helens, Super League Grand Final, Saturday 10th October, 2009.

The winner of (1.) above may suffer some kind of Super League handicap as they switch focus to the Challenge Cup once a month and take their eye off the Super League ball, so to speak, but they'll still finish 1st or 2nd on the ladder and contest the Grand Final. For St Helens, this 4th Round clash on Sunday is their Challenge Cup Final. If they beat Leeds at Headingley, they'll win the Cup again for the 4th year in succession. If Leeds win this Sunday, they'll be red hot favourites to go all the way, but considering their pisspoor, underperforming, choking record in the Challenge Cup during the past decade, they may stumble and fall against one of the Super League Division 3 clubs.

Exciting innit?

Not really.

MANLY PROPPING UP THE NRL BASEMENT!

When Manly ripped the Leeds Rhinos apart in the WCC a month ago at Elland Road, it was proclaimed by many that they were one of the best (if not the best) ever NRL teams to visit the UK and challenge the very best of Super League. There was no shame in losing to them. After all, they'd trounced Melbourne Storm in the 2008 NRL Grand Final to the tune of 40-zip!

Such unenlightened views somehow serve to help ease the pain of defeat for many feckwitts... erm, I mean... supporters of the super duper, it just gets better and better each year, Super League competition.

Interesting that this marvellous Manly team who defeated the Rhinos with such ease in the WCC with only 40 minutes of match fitness under their belts should now find themselves at the cellar-dwelling end of the NRL competition having played 3 games and lost all 3. They've been beaten by last seasons 16th placed wooden spooners the Canterbury Bulldogs in Round 1, then by the NZ Warriors at home in Round 2, and now they've been beaten at home by the Penrith Panthers who make a regular habit of residing in the lower reaches of the NRL ladder more often than not.

Of course, it goes without saying that Super Duper League teams like the Leeds Rhinos would still be very competitive if they played in the NRL competition instead. They'd be seriously challenging for the top positions on the ladder as well as all the top honours down under.

No, really.

Meanwhile... in the real world...

IS GARETH ELLIS RIPPING UP THE NRL?

According to numerous feckwitts Gareth Ellis is ripping it up big style in the NRL for the Wests Tigers. And the feckwitted propaganda doesn't stop there either. There's even a few Aussie no-mark feckwitt journos who have also got in on the act proclaiming Ellis is like "Pommy Granite", who has played 80 minutes for his third consecutive match and he's in "the NRL's top five tacklers" despite suggestions he wouldn't be able to handle the Australian conditions. The only truth in all that is that Ellis has indeed played the full 80 minutes in three consecutive NRL games.

In my search for the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I checked out the official player stats on the NRL website and discovered that Ellis's tackle stats thus far are 38 tackles against the Raiders in Round 1, 27 tackles against the Cowboys in Round 2 and 21 tackles against the Roosters in Round 3, producing a grand total of 86 tackles over the three NRL games he's played in. Do 86 tackles correspond to Ellis being in the top five tacklers in the NRL thus far? The answer is NO! Here is the list of the Top 25 tacklers in the NRL up to, and including NRL Round 3:

1. Nathan Hindmarsh (Eels) - 154
2. David Stagg (Bulldogs) - 140
3. Dallas Johnson (Storm) - 140
4. Cameron Smith (Storm) - 121
5. Nathan Friend (Titans) - 120
6. Luke Douglas (Sharks) - 114
7. Sam Thaiday (Broncos) - 107
8. Matthew Keating (Eels) - 107
9. Nathan Smith (Panthers) - 106
10. Feleti Mateo (Eels) - 105
11. Anthony Tupou (Sharks) - 104
12. Glenn Stewart (Sea Eagles) - 104
13. Dean Young (Dragons) - 96
14. Ian Henderson (Warriors) - 96
15. Craig Fitzgibbon (Roosters) - 94
16. Jeremy Smith (Dragons) - 94
17. Trent Waterhouse (Panthers) - 94
18. Robbie Farah (Tigers) - 93
19. Ben Hannant (Bulldogs) - 92
20. Isaac De Gois (Knights) - 92
21. Matt Prior (Dragons) - 92
22. Ashley Harrison (Titans) - 90
23. Anthony Laffranchi (Titans) - 89
24. Andrew Ryan (Bulldogs) - 89
25. Matt Hilder (Knights) - 87

So Ellis doesn't even make the Top 25 tacklers in the NRL so far and resides outside of that select group. Nor does he make the Top 25 in terms of hit-ups or metres gained either.

None of this is an attempt to rubbish Gareth Ellis's contributions in the NRL for the Tigers because in my opinion, he's doing about as well as can be expected at such an early stage in his career down under. His future looks promising and I'm confident he will go from strength to strength in the NRL and make a bloody good fist of it.

However, some people (mainly feckwitts of course) need to gain a sense of perspective. In the wake of England's finest players disastrous World Cup followed by Leeds Rhinos being dismantled on every level in the WCC by Manly, there's a desperation to cling on to any news that places Super League and Super League players in a positive light. It just happens to go without saying that such desperation often beds in nicely with feckwittery and talking complete and utter bollox.

In my most humble and thoroughly researched opinion of course ;-)

PS: 38 tackles in Round 1, 27 tackles in Round 2 and 21 tackles in Round 3. I hope that isn't a sign of a downward trend in workrate on Ellis's part, though I'm sure he will appreciate just how tough it is backing up week in, week out in the NRL.

PPS: Oh, and Gareth, quit taking the bait from gobshite tosspot sledgers like Willie Mason. 21 tackles this weekend suggests you were spending way too much time chasing him around the pitch. Just concentrate on doing the job you're paid to do. TIA.

WILL JORDAN TANSEY MAKE HIS ROOSTERS DEBUT NEXT WEEK?

I've never quite got this? And I still don't. In fact I thought it was a joke when the rumours first surfaced last season that the Sydney Roosters from the NRL were interested in signing Jordan Tansey from the Leeds Rhinos.

But sure enough, it turned out to be true and they did sign him on loan. I'll be fucked if I know what they see in him. Maybe there's some hidden talent there they've identified on videos or DVD's or summat? Maybe they've identified that it ain't too late to teach him the basic skill sets and produce a player of some quality? That certainly wasn't ever gonna happen over here as we've produced very little in the way of quality players during the entire Super League era.

Anyhow, Jordan hadn't yet made a big enough impression in any of the Roosters pre-season trial games to gain a first grade NRL berth this weekend, and instead was shipped off to the Roosters feeder club, the Newtown Jets in the NSW Cup where he was selected to play at five eighth. He scored a consolation try near the end as the Newtown Jets were hammered 42-10 away against the Shellharbour Dragons.

However, the Roosters took an even bigger hammering this weekend in NRL Round 1 at home to South Sydney, to the tune of 12-52! So who knows? Perhaps plenty of Roosters first graders might be getting the chop this coming week and Tansey might get his NRL chance in Round 2?

Watch this space :-)

SUPER LEAGUE - IT AIN'T RUGBY LEAGUE!

Rugby League is my favourite sport. Depressingly, I havent seen a great deal of Rugby League being played at Super League level for a very long time.

What happened? When did it happen? Where did it all go wrong? Who was responsible for it? When was tackling practically outlawed? Who decided the ruck area should no longer be contested? Who decided teams ought be kept as far apart as possible? Whose idea was it that our players have no requirement to be equipped with even a basic set of skills in either attack or defence? Who are those people who are obsessed with the idea of a low intensity, free-flowing and allegedly entertaining style of Super League which is practically devoid of any skill, class or creativity, and which usually consists of five scoots of ten metres or more per set of six from dummy half in wide open spaces? Or the occasional flat pass to stationary backs... once again, in wide open spaces?

An opposition defender merely has to touch or tap an attacking player these days and he's deemed tackled... the referee's voice booms with 'TACKLED!... MOOOOOOOVE!... GET BACK!... GET AWAY!... SURRENDER! All in the quest for yet another tediously quick PTB in wide open spaces and yet another tedious scoot of 10 metres or more from dummy half or first receiver.

I wasted a tiresome 10 minutes of my life on Friday night watching some of the Leeds V Wigan game on Sky. And yes, you guessed it... no intensity... lots of wide open spaces... no desire for any player to tackle any opposition player, or perish the thought, a penalty will be awarded because the defender didn't MOOOOOOOVE!... GET BACK!... GET AWAY!... SURRENDER!... within a nanosecond of brushing an opposition player.

There was one instance of Rob Burrow crabbing and jinking across field for what seemed like an eternity, where no Wigan player either couldn't be arsed, or just dare not attempt to tackle him for fear of giving away a penalty for having the audacity to encroach upon Burrow's personal space (FFS!). After several seconds of crabbing jinks under no pressure whatsoever (there was no Manly or Anthony Watmough hovering around NRL-stylee on this occasion to legally smash him), Burrow puts up an ordinary bomb (under no pressure) and Ryan Hall collects it (under no pressure) and scores a try in the corner. According to those clowns on Sky (Eddie & Stevo) it was all SUUUUPPPPEEEERRRRBBB! From Burrow, it was sheer skill of the highest calibre... it was world class stuff.

Fuck off! It was crap.

We've seen plenty of evidence of late with regards to just how far our Super League game lags behind the Australians and Kiwis from the NRL. The RLWC was an absolute disaster for England. Our very best players were shown up for having no skill sets in attack, no idea how to unlock opposition defences at the highest level, utterly clueless and naive in decision making and defence, and no idea whatsoever of even reading something as simple as angled dummy runners or second man plays. The very same shortcomings of our players were once again exposed by Manly in the recent WCC, and quite frankly it's embarrassing.

I have to watch the NRL to see some real, competitive and classy Rugby League these days, where the ruck area is actually contested... where real skills are on show. If I want to see some real Rugby League in this country where tackling hasn't yet been outlawed in the quest for what is deemed in feckwitt circles as entertainment, then I have to watch the local amateur RL scene. It might not be fast paced, but at least it's honest, it's contested, and it still resembles the sport of Rugby League which I enjoy.

The Aussies do play a version of Super League but they happen to be mostly mates of mine over there who play it for fun. They call it Oztag :-)

QUEENS!

Last weekend saw some rather unsavoury incidents take place at a Challenge Cup Round 3 tie between Doncaster (of National League 1) and amateur side Queens (of the CMS Unison Premier Division).

Queens originally drew Doncaster at home and the game should have been played at their home ground at Bus Vale. However, Doncaster were having none of that and they whinged and whined their guts out to the spineless RFL, managing to get the game switched to the Keepmoat Stadium, citing reasons such as better safety and security measures in place there. One could be forgiven for thinking that the real reason was they didn't fancy the trip to Bus Vale in Meanwood and fancied a more comfortable home tie instead. This hardly suited Queens since they weren't even going to get a share of the gate money.

Anyhow, to cut a long story short, Queens turned up at Doncaster and gave the NL1 side quite a scare. With Doncaster only leading 16-12 after 63 minutes of play, the game was in the balance. At that point, a brawl among the spectators took place and the game ended up being abandoned due to crowd trouble. The irony of Doncaster's claim for a home tie that they had superior safety and security measures in place is not lost on me. Someone at the club actually had to phone the police to turn up in order to sort the crowd trouble out!

There's been ample claims and counter-claims put forward as to who caused the trouble in the first place, mostly by people who didn't even attend the game, so how could they know? Apparently, the propaganda line on numerous RL chat boards was that it was either all Queens fault, or mostly Queens fault. Their team and their supporters are aggressive... they are intimidating... they were pissed... they were hell bent on causing trouble... they have a track record of causing trouble... they caused trouble because their team were behind on the scoreboard... there were Leeds Utd supporters among their ranks who couldn't afford the soccer trip down to Bristol that afternoon, so they fancied a ruck in Doncaster instead... they are animals, etc.

Queens countered all the flak aimed in their direction by claiming that some of their players and supporters were subjected to racial abuse from Doncaster fans. Or were they local amateur supporters from Moorends who had played Queens the previous week, without any incidents I might add? Who knows what happened, I don't know what happened or what caused it because I wasn't there.

Suffice to say it was a disappointing end to Queens run in the Challenge Cup, and it came as no surprise to me that the tie was awarded in Doncaster's favour, courtesy of a RFL ruling which states that any tie abandoned after more than 60 minutes duration can be awarded to the team who was in front on the scoreboard at the time. Well that just conveniently happened to be Doncaster, so they were awarded the game. Would Queens have been awarded the game had they been leading by a miserly 16-12 with 17 minutes to go instead? Would it bollox!

What really hacks me off about the way the game of RL is administered is how different rules apply to the bigger clubs and their star players. It's almost like there's a Caste System in place to secure the privileges of the rich at the expense of the poor and poorer. Hull last season fielded an ineligble player (Jamie Thackray) in the Challenge Cup. A lower-profile club from outside of Super League would have been kicked out of the competition for blatant infringement of the rules. Instead Hull were allowed to continue, reach the Final itself and pocket all the dosh. If a Keiron Cunningham gets busted for taking HCG, or a Keith Senior or Ryan Bailey get busted for taking ephedrine, they get a slap on the wrist. Players of a lesser profile or players from the lower leagues would get banned for a year or two. It all stinks!

I turned up at Bus Vale this weekend to watch Queens at home to Hunslet Old Boys in the Leeds & District Cup. It was a magnificent game played in fantastic spirit among players and fans alike, with the Old Boys hanging on at the end to register a deserved 28-22 victory. No trouble and not a hint of trouble either. Nor has there been any hint of trouble at any Queens game I've attended. Strange that, eh?

IS JAMIE LEON'S SHIRT ON EBAY YET?

There's a rumour doing the rounds that Jamie Leon's Manly shirt which he wore at Elland Rd on Sunday during the WCC game against the Leeds Rhinos will very soon be making a reappearance when it's listed for sale on eBay.

The other rumour doing the rounds is that it ain't Jamie Leon who is selling it either.

I wonder who could be selling it instead?

Hmmm... tough one, that! :-)

LEEDS RHINOS DEMOLISHED BY MANLY!

Almost everything about the World Club Challenge is set up to favour the reigning Super League champions. Home advantage, familiar playing conditions, 3 SL games played and match fitness already established, competing against out-of-season NRL champions who are always going to be undercooked and lacking in match fitness this time of the year, and who have to acclimatise from travelling from the other side of the globe.

However, Manly Warringah didn't stick to the usual WCC script this time around. They put in a considerable amount of preparation, arrived in the UK two weeks prior to the WCC with an almost full squad of first teamers (apart from Brent Kite), played half of a warm-up game against the Quins the week before and, in a nutshell, were more determined and taking it more seriously than some previous NRL champions. The indications were that Leeds could well be in for a tough night and so it proved to be.

Forget the scoreline of 20-28 which flattered Leeds. They were found to be hopelessly out of their depth in all areas last night. Outplayed, outclassed and outgunned by a superior NRL team who are still weeks away from hitting anywhere near top gear. Leeds were bamboozled as they were faced by superior ball-handling skills, crisp and slick handling, jinks, superior footwork, pace off the mark, tactics, nous, kicking ability, dummy runners running unfamiliar angles to what Super League players are accustomed to, runners running on to the ball at speed, proper tackles, hard tackles, effective tackles... all things Leeds rarely (if ever) have to encounter in a Super League fixture against mediocre opposition.

It was no surprise last night to be surrounded by feckwitted Leeds Rhinos supporters who booed at the referee at every opportunity. They have become so accustomed to the Super League style of teams being kept apart, quick PTB's and easy metres gained via tedious dummy half runs in wide open spaces that when faced with an opposition who actually plays real Rugby League with skill, accuracy and aplomb, they are as perplexed as the Rhinos players and end up whinging their guts out ad nauseam.

BOOOO! Bloody Aussies! Dominant tackle? What's all that about? Should be banned! GET OFF OUR PLAYERS! BOOOO! You touched Peacock, he's tackled, GERROF HIM! You tickled McGuire, brushed his hair, parted his hair, so he's tackled, GERROF HIM! Dirty Manly get that Matai fella, he just poked a finger in Lee Smith's direction, so he's tackled, and if not, it's gotta be a penalty to Leeds. GERROF HIM! Watmough just blew a kiss at Burrow, he's bloody tackled, OK? GERROF HIM! BOOOO! Hang on, that Watmough fella really did just tackle Burrow legally and smashed the poor little mite. What's all that about? So it must be illegal. BOOOO! SEND HIM OFF! GERRIM OFF! GERROF HIM! Let our players get up quickly, play the ball quickly and scoot 10 to 20 easy metres. Hardly any bloody skills on show from the Leeds players but who cares, eh? It's all about Super Duper League and free-flowing ENTERTAINMENT! ENTERTAINMENT! ENTERTAINMENT!

Thought I'd drop in to substandard.com (or is it feckwitts.com?) today to have a good laugh at the litany of excuses trotted out there for Leeds pummelling and I wasn't disappointed. The ref was a disgrace (obviously), Manly were offside all the time, Manly were allowed to lie on in the tackle, some feckwitt misplaced their lucky conker, ref didn't blow time-off near the end thus depriving Leeds of a window of opportunity to snatch a win from the jaws of defeat. How ironic that it was actually Lee Smith niggling away at Matt Orford after a jinking run which bamboozled several Leeds players, not allowing him a quick PTB which would have resulted in another Manly try, only for a fight to break out instead as Ryan Bailey attempted to king-hit a Manly player from behind before gutlessly retreating away to a safe distance as per usual. Peacock may have behaved like a prick earlier in the game, getting a deserved pummelling from Josh Perry, but at least he did front up to him.

Leeds got away with a creditable (yet flattering) scoreline last night because, to their credit, they played with pride and never gave in despite the huge gulf in class, even when the game was as good as over. Though you always felt that Manly always had the game won comfortably and had plenty in reserve to score more tries at will if need be.

For Manly, Anthony Watmough fully deserved his MoM award as his performance was immense all night. Brett Stewart and Matt Orford always looked dangerous and a class apart and I liked the look of Shane Rodney who caused us no end of problems when he came off the bench. All in all, the Manly forwards dominated ours (just like the Aussie and Kiwi forwards dominated England's in the RLWC) thus once again dispelling the popular, feckwitted, believist myth that our forwards can somehow match theirs and get the better of them. Yeah, right! For Leeds, Senior and Lauiti'iti were our best on the night, though even their performances were tempered by schoolboy errors in passing into touch and weak defence respectively.

Anyone who thinks it would be a really good idea to play the WCC at any other time than the current time and place slot, or heaven forbid over in Australia needs to think again. Leeds (or any other SL champion club) would lose by 40 or 50... at least.