DISPELLING ANOTHER MYTH

Here another myth which is often perpetuated by Rugby League supporters, coaches, administrators and the Rugby League media in this country.

"WE ARE CATCHING THE AUSSIES UP"

During the Stupor League era we haven't, despite the supposed advantages of full-time professionalism. If anything, we've gone backwards and the international gap has widened between GB/England and Australia, and also against New Zealand.

And here is the incontrovertible evidence!

* Includes GB and England results against Australia and New Zealand.
** Also includes results in World Cups.

Test Results V Australia (SL era, 22 tests, 1996-2009)
Played 22
Won 4
Drawn 0
Lost 18
Points for 285
Points against 641

Test Results V Australia (Pre SL era, previous 22 Tests, 1984-1995)
Played 22
Won 5
Drawn 0
Lost 17
Points for 242
Points against 447

Test Results V New Zealand (SL era, 24 tests, 1996-2009)
Played 24
Won 9
Drawn 2
Lost 13
Points for 484
Points against 547

Test Results V New Zealand (Pre SL era, previous 24 Tests, 1979-1995)
Played 24
Won 12
Drawn 2
Lost 10
Points for 377
Points against 318


It's also worth noting that during the SL era, we've played far more tests against Australia and New Zealand with home advantage.

Test Results V Australia (SL era, 22 tests, 1996-2009)
Home - P17 W3 D0 L14 F232 A438
Away - P5 W1 D0 L4 F53 A203
Total - P22 W4 D0 L18 F285 A641

Test Results V Australia (Pre SL era, previous 22 Tests, 1984-1995)
Home - P13 W3 D0 L10 F126 A273
Away - P9 W2 D0 L7 F116 A174
Total - P22 W5 D0 L17 F242 A447

Test Results V New Zealand (SL era, 24 tests, 1996-2009)
Home - P16 W9 D2 L5 F377 A334
Away - P8 W0 D0 L8 F107 A213
Total - P24 W9 D2 L13 F484 A547

Test Results V New Zealand (Pre SL era, previous 24 Tests, 1979-1995)
Home - P12 W7 D2 L3 F212 A124
Away - P12 W5 D0 L7 F165 A194
Total - P24 W12 D2 L10 F377 A318

PERPETUATING THE MYTHS

It happens every year, at the end of every season. GB (or England these days) get their international arses handed to them on a silver or bronze platter by the Aussies when it really counts, and every single English player bar none are discovered to be hopelessly out of their depth... AGAIN! That's the reality of the situation year after year, but what about the myths?

One particular myth about the British game doing the rounds for a number of years (and particularly during the Stupor League era) is they possess a strong pack of forwards who are at the very least the equal of, if not better than any other pack of forwards in the world, and that includes being better and stronger than the Kangaroos or Kiwis in that department. This particular myth is perpetuated year upon year by Sky Sports commentators (Eddie, Stevo and Phil Clarke) but we all know that's their job. They are paid handsome sums of money to hype up their employers Stupor League product on their employers subscription-based satellite TV channels. Speak to them off record and in private and they'll offer you a different and more realistic appraisal.

However, one of the worst offenders for perpetuating this myth are the two main RL publications in this country, the weekly League Express and their monthly Rugby League World magazine. They sponsor a number of end-of-season awards like the Golden Boot and the annual World XIII which is supposed to represent the very best current players in the world. They also make claims over their award nominations being fair, above board, and selected by members of the worldwide Rugby League media. Hmmmmm. Could they provide us all with a complete list of all those members of the worldwide Rugby League media, who they nominated and who they voted for please? At least that way, we can work out who the worldwide Rugby League media fuckwits are and give their published articles a huge swerve!

Because year upon year, no matter how embarrassing the results for GB or England, no matter how ordinary the performances of sundry GB or England players, they still get nominated and selected for the annual World XIII awards, whilst sundry GB or England players are nominated for the Golden Boot (best player in the world) award despite being dominated by their opponents on the international stage.

In recent years, World XIII announcements have awarded the likes of Keiron Cunningham, Andy Farrell, Jamie Peacock, Stuart Fielden, Paul Sculthorpe, Adrian Morley and Gareth Ellis as being among the world's very best forwards with monotonous regularlty, and this year has been no different, despite a 16-46 hammering in the Tri Nations Final at Elland Road last month.

And if that isn't embarrassing enough, the very same publications have seen fit to nominate Jamie Peacock , Gareth Ellis and Kevin Sinfield (Bwahahahaha) for the Golden Boot Award, but haven't dared go that one embarrassing step further since awarding Andy Farrell the award in 2004, a mere 24 hours prior to ignominiously skippering his team to a 4-44 thrashing. Jamie Peacock had to make do with the international Forward of the year award two years running instead, if only to perpetuate the myth of the English forwards even further.

Apparently, English players make up the bulk of the World XIII pack of forwards with James Graham (again), Gareth Ellis (again) and now Sam Burgess (several more awards earmarked for him now surely?) all making it into the 2009 World XIII selected by Rugby League World magazine.

Hello? Wake up. They lost 16-46! Those English forwards are only capable of competing for 60 minutes before collapsing into a weary shitheap and getting battered and run over. But hey, the myth of forward dominance must be perpetuated at all costs, eh?

During the late 80's and the 90's when we had Martin Offiah, Jason Robinson, Gary Connolly, Paul Newlove, Jonathan Davies, Shaun Edwards, Garry Schofield and Andy Gregory et al in the backs, the myth perpetuated back then was the forwards weren't good enough otherwise GB would wipe the floor with Australia. I'm just guessing that Ellery Hanley, Denis Betts, Phil Clarke, Andy Platt, Lee Jackson, Andy Goodway, Kevin Ward and Lee Crooks might have been a little pissed off at the accusation back then.

The myth has merely been turned on it's head in recent times. It's the backs that aren't good enough these days otherwise we'd wipe the floor with Australia. Though it still didn't prevent Rugby League World magazine from nominating in their World XIII an international turnstile called Keith Senior as the best centre in the the world three years running in 2002, 2003 and 2004. Doh!

BYE BYE SHITANTA SPORTS

I'll openly admit that I was thoroughly delighted to see the demise of the UK arm of this utterly shithouse Pay-TV broadcaster, alongside their even more-shithouse customer service operation.

I was never best pleased they'd purchased the broadcasting rights to the NRL and Origin games a couple of years ago because that meant I had to shell out an extra £15 per month on top of my overly-expensive monthly subscription to Sky Sports.

Setanta began by broadcasting 3 live NRL games a week and that included pre-game coverage from Fox Sports Australia or Channel Nine whose presentation is generally far superior to the usual boofhead in a studio that Sky UK used to trot out pretending to know a lot about Australian Rugby League when the trotted-out boofhead in question actually knew feck all and was incapable of discussing any aspect of the games broadcast beyond applying the usual cliches and fatuous comments.

What pissed me off the most was being offered a deal by Setanta to subscribe, which consisted of agreeing to a minimum 12 month contract where the first 3 months were £10 pcm, followed by the remainder of the contract to be charged at £15 pcm. I was politely assured that this was a fantastic deal. I should have known better though. Within a couple of weeks of signing up to Setanta, they suddenly began offering their service at £9.99 pcm with no minimum contract.

I was on the blower fairly quickly to register my disapproval at the package I was on and I politely asked to be switched to a no minimum contract at £9.99 pcm as a gesture of goodwill on their part in return for my long-term and satisfied customer subscription status. Their customer service turned around and basically said 'Tough shit! You signed up to a 12 month contract at the terms and prices earlier specified. We intend to hold you to that contract!' I then banged on about my customer rights and the 14 day cooling off period where I could change my mind about their service but they were very quick to point out I'd subscribed 16 days ago, so again 'Tough shit!'.

At that point, I gave in. I'd lost the argument. They'd got me! However, it was hardly the kind of customer service response that was likely to endear me to the company and so I agreed that I'd continue to fulfil my 12 month contact, but I also pointed out to them that at the end of that 12 month contract, I would be looking forward to ditching the bastards for good. Twelve months later, I diligently waited for Setanta to take the final 12th monthly direct debit from my bank account and then immediately cancelled the direct debit payments. What followed were incessant phone calls and threatening letters from Setanta claiming that my direct debit was no longer working and that I owed them money, to which I continued to maintain that I'd fulfilled my 12 month contract, that they could go forth and multiply, and that I look forward to the day when they go bust. I'm not quite sure how I could owe them several months subscription payments anyhow, since they'd switched me off within 2 weeks of the direct debit being cancelled.

In more recent times, Setanta's coverage of the NRL games had become pretty ordinary and often reduced to just the solitary one game per week broadcast, and without any of the previous pre-game presentations. Edited highlights of German Bundesliga soccer games from the previous week were considered more important to broadcast instead of a live NRL game.

Well they have gone bust now and my opinion is?

Good bleedin' riddance and not a moment too soon! :-)

THE DEPRESSING STATE OF AUSTRALIAN RL CULTURE!

It's been quite some time since I've posted anything on this blog, mainly because I've been too busy with other stuff and also because I spent the best part of last month down under in Australia and New Zealand on my jollies! I'm back now though :-) I make the long trip down under at least once a year (but usually twice) for my annual (or bi-annual) fix of some combo of NRL, State of Origin, Anzac Test and Qld Cup fixtures. Last year I attended the RLWC instead of the NRL Finals.

I travelled down under last month and the idea of attending as many Rugby League games as I could conceivably fit in was no longer to be regarded as an essential and integral part of my holiday itinerary. I decided to spend time in Melbourne followed by Auckland rather than attend the Anzac Test in Brisbane. I didn't even bother arranging the timing of my stays in Melbourne and Auckland to coincide with a Storm or Warriors home fixture. I did make a little effort to book a two night stay in Sydney in the hope that I might cop an opportunity to attend a Monday night NRL game there but it didn't work out because the Storm V Raiders fixture got the Monday night schedule nod in that particular round of fixtures instead. Did I care? Was I bovvered? In short... no. I attended just one fixture over the best part of a whole month down under, an NRL local derby clash between the Brisbane Broncos and Gold Coast Titans, and that was only because a bunch of my Aussie mates wanted to go.

Rugby League was never out of the news whilst I was there. It occupied more than the usual reams of column inches in all the newspapers and it was invariably the top news item on every TV or radio channel news bulletin or notable current affairs programme. Unfortunately, not much of it was about the game itself but depressingly more about the seedier and sleazy underbelly of the sport and what high-profile people in the game get up to in their spare time, which quite frankly is nothing to be proud of at all.

The news was full of allegations of sexual assault on a 17 year old young female by the NRL's current marketing pin-up boy Brett Stewart. The NRL had to suspend their main season 2009 advertising campaign because Stewart featured prominently in it! Then there was the complete and utter implosion of the Cronulla Sharks club where it emerged that a number of their players had indulged in group sex with a young 19 year old female in a Christchurch motel back in 2002. This included one of the most high-profile and highly paid of RL media personalities who played for the Sharks back then. One of their current players then tested positive for a banned substance (I'm surprised he had the time to imbibe or inject anything given he was busy attempting to sue the pants off his former club for wrongful dismissal unless he was paid compensation of $100k), their halfback had been suspended for alcohol-fuelled, off-field indiscretions, their skipper was sacked from the captaincy role due to racist remarks made to an opposition player during a game, their sponsors were pulling the plug on their financial support in droves, and just to cap it all off, their CEO had punched a female employee of the club and urged another female employee of the club to give him a good spanking! If ever a club epitomised the brainless, boozy, macho, misogynistic, racist, rotten-to-the-core culture of the game in Australia, it was Cronulla. Given the current climate, Willie Mason being caught on camera (above) having a leak outside a nightclub ought to be regarded as nothing more than light relief.

With all this crap unfolding whilst I was over there, alongside the memory of other sleazy incidents that had taken place at Coffs Harbour and Fortitude Valley, I'd simply had a gutful and lost my appetite for turning up to any game down under.

I very much doubt the culture of RL is much different among clubs and players in England. The only difference is that incidents don't get reported or scrutinised like they do in Australia due to the much lower profile the game receives from the media in the UK. After all, it didn't take long for a well-known and highly-capped GB and England international to go looking for sleazy, extra-curricular activities whilst on tour with the RLWC squad last year. He even had the testicular fortitude (one wonders if he needed the boost of any help there?) to organise it all on Facebook prior to his arrival in Australia. He may have been judged a 10 out of 10 between the sheets, but his on-field performances in the RLWC most definitely rated no more than a 3 or a 4, which pretty much correspond to his ordinary match ratings throughout the rest of his highly overrated international career.

REVIEW ON ENGLAND'S WORLD CUP FAILINGS ANNOUNCED!

Take a good look at this photo...

RIGHT HERE ---------------->

What is it saying?

What is it telling you?

And who is that bloke?

All shall now be revealed.

The bloke in the photo is Richard Lewis and he is the Executive Director of the RFL. He's got the top job in the game in this country and he has the power to initiate change... to make things happen... for the good of the game... allegedly!

He and the RFL recently announced a thorough review of the embarrassing and spectacular failings of England and their dire performances in the Rugby League World Cup last Oct/Nov. After all, searching questions needed to be asked. Where and why did it all go wrong? Why did England get tonked by Australia 52-4? Why did they get tonked by New Zealand twice? Why did they struggle to scrape past Papua New Guinea in a game they were very fortunate to win?

The review effectively asked the players why they were shit in the RLWC, and this is what they came up with:

1. Players said they did not perform to their full ability.
2. Although there were different social groups the players said these did not affect team performance.
3. Players and coaching staff felt they needed more time together on the training field in advance of the tournament.
4. Injuries pre-tour affected the balance of the squad.
5. Players recognised a greater need for emphasis on sports science.
6. Rule interpretations, which were only agreed the week before the tournament, were a factor.

On point 1 - What is their recent historical record of results in internationals down under during the Super League era touring as either GB or England? Against New Zealand, they've played 8 times and lost every one of them! Against Australia, they've played 5, won once and lost the other 4 convincingly. One win and twelve losses then! That's quite a depressing record of not performing to one's full abilities down under, assuming that is the case. On the other hand, it just might be the case that they do perform to their full ability but the ability they possess just isn't of a high enough standard against superior opposition?

On point 2 - The Saints and Leeds players didn't gel on tour socially. I'm pleased that bullshit excuse for failure in the RLWC has finally been laid to rest.

On point 3 - Prior to the RLWC, didn't Tony Smith and Jamie Peacock claim England's preparations for the tour had been excellent and that no stone had been left unturned in preparing the side?

On point 4 - Which England players missed out on the tour through injury? Sam Burgess and Sean O'Loughlin are the main two, then there's Gareth Raynor, Andy Lynch and Kirk Yeaman. You know what? Had they been fit, I don't think their inclusion in England's RLWC tour squad would have made a blind bit of difference to the results.

On point 5 - Yep, they need to adopt a more sports scientific approach alrighty, but right now it's just a buzzword or a soundbite to give an appearance of actually doing something.

On point 6 - Rule interpretations and southern hemisphere referees were to blame for your pisspoor results were they? For gawds sake! Perhaps it's time for Super League rule interpretations to fall in line with proper Rugby League rule interpretations which everyone else subscribes to, huh?

The RFL's review of England's failings in the RLWC resulted in a Seven Point Plan to deliver future international success. However, there is a major problem with the whole review process and it's objectives to deliver that success. Nowhere has anyone identified one of the main reasons for repeated international failure, and guess what? One of the main reasons for failure is staring Richard Lewis right in the face on that photo above. And it's that whole different ballgame written in black and white on the screen. And it's called Super League! It ain't competitive, it ain't played to any degree of intensity comparable with the NRL, the playing standards are comparatively poor and our top players aren't tested week in, week out. Super League doesn't prepare our players for the huge step up in intensity and class required to compete successfully at international level against the Aussies and Kiwis.

And it's the Super League clubs and their CEO's who run the game (not Richard Lewis) and it is they who call all the shots. It is the clubs who adopt short-term strategies for success by signing a multitude of overseas players who, for the most part, are well past their sell-by date by NRL standards and surplus to requirements there, hence denying home-produced young players first grade opportunities to progress at Super League level, thus diluting the English talent pool available.

International playing standards and performances can only ever mirror the playing standards set in the respective domestic competitions in which the players ply their trade. I guess that's why the RLWC Final was contested by two international sides whose players almost exclusively (apart from Thomas Leuluai) ply their trade in the NRL.

WORLD CLUB CHAMPIONS STILL DOING IT TOUGH!

Current World Club Champions Manly Sea Eagles who destroyed the reigning Super League champions Leeds Rhinos last month are sitting pretty at the bottom of the NRL Ladder after four rounds of that competition. I'll allow others to draw their own conclusions as to where Super League playing standards sit in relation to the playing standards being set down under.

NRL Ladder after Round 4

	P	W	L	D	B	+/-	Pts
South Sydney Rabbitohs	4	3	1	0	0	50	6
Gold Coast Titans	4	3	1	0	0	28	6
Canterbury Bulldogs	4	3	1	0	0	28	6
St George Illawarra Dragons	4	3	1	0	0	22	6
Brisbane Broncos	4	3	1	0	0	6	6
Penrith Panthers	4	2	2	0	0	12	4
Newcastle Knights	4	2	2	0	0	2	4
Melbourne Storm	4	2	2	0	0	1	4
New Zealand Warriors	4	2	2	0	0	-12	4
Sydney Roosters	4	2	2	0	0	-14	4
Parramatta Eels	4	2	2	0	0	-18	4
Wests Tigers	4	2	2	0	0	-24	4
North Queensland Cowboys	4	1	3	0	0	8	2
Cronulla Sharks	4	1	3	0	0	-20	2
Canberra Raiders	4	1	3	0	0	-29	2
Manly Sea Eagles	4	0	4	0	0	-40	0

SUPER LEAGUE GRAND FINAL 2009

Thought I'd get in early by announcing details of the Engage Super League Grand Final for 2009, and it comes as no surprise whatsoever that St Helens and Leeds Rhinos will face each another yet again for a third successive season at the Theatre Of Dreams on Saturday 10th October. Tickets for the Leeds Rhinos V St Helens Grand Final 2009 are already available for purchase.

But hang on... ain't 2009 going to be the strongest, the toughest and the most competitive Super League ever, with so many competing teams in with a golden opportunity of lifting the trophy and becoming champions? If you believe all the bullshit hype on Sky Sports and elsewhere, you might arrive at such a conclusion. If you're equipped with even a rudimentary knowledge of the strengths and weaknesses of each club in Super League, you'll know that there's St Helens, Leeds and the rest who are just there to make up the numbers.

There are five divisions in Super League in 2009.

Super League Division 1: St Helens and Leeds.

Super League Division 2: Daylight!

Super League Division 3: Hull, Hull KR, Wigan, Warrington, Bradford, Wakefield, Harlequins, Castleford, Catalans and Huddersfield.

Super League Division 4: Daylight!

Super League Division 5: Celtic Crusaders and Salford.

Even the bookies agree with this as they quote both St Helens and Leeds at odds of 11/10 or Evens to win the Super League crown this season. Hull are the third favourites at 22/1, Wigan are 33/1, Bradford 50/1, Warrington 66/1 and Catalans 200/1. Celtic Crusaders and Salford are so embarrassingly poor they don't even rate a quotation.

In my most esteemed and sagely opinion, St Helens and Leeds of Super League Division 1 will both finish in the Top 2 yet again and there'll be about a 10 point gap (daylight!) between the club finishing 2nd and the club finishing 3rd on the ladder. At the bottom end of the ladder, Celtic Crusaders and Salford of Division 5 will fight it out for 13th and 14th place, and there will be a significant points gap of about 10 points between the 12th placed club (daylight!) and the 13th placed club. Super League Division 3 will provide plenty of excitement for the feckwitt majority as 10 clubs compete for six play-off places (3rd to 8th) and for the privilege of just making up the numbers in the play-offs. Super League Division 5 will just be plain and simply embarrassing.

By my calculations, there are only 2 fixtures remaining this season which will have any significant bearing on where the silverware will end up this season. And they are?

1. Leeds Rhinos V St Helens, Challenge Cup Round 4, Sunday 5th April, 2009.
2. Leeds Rhinos V St Helens, Super League Grand Final, Saturday 10th October, 2009.

The winner of (1.) above may suffer some kind of Super League handicap as they switch focus to the Challenge Cup once a month and take their eye off the Super League ball, so to speak, but they'll still finish 1st or 2nd on the ladder and contest the Grand Final. For St Helens, this 4th Round clash on Sunday is their Challenge Cup Final. If they beat Leeds at Headingley, they'll win the Cup again for the 4th year in succession. If Leeds win this Sunday, they'll be red hot favourites to go all the way, but considering their pisspoor, underperforming, choking record in the Challenge Cup during the past decade, they may stumble and fall against one of the Super League Division 3 clubs.

Exciting innit?

Not really.

MANLY PROPPING UP THE NRL BASEMENT!

When Manly ripped the Leeds Rhinos apart in the WCC a month ago at Elland Road, it was proclaimed by many that they were one of the best (if not the best) ever NRL teams to visit the UK and challenge the very best of Super League. There was no shame in losing to them. After all, they'd trounced Melbourne Storm in the 2008 NRL Grand Final to the tune of 40-zip!

Such unenlightened views somehow serve to help ease the pain of defeat for many feckwitts... erm, I mean... supporters of the super duper, it just gets better and better each year, Super League competition.

Interesting that this marvellous Manly team who defeated the Rhinos with such ease in the WCC with only 40 minutes of match fitness under their belts should now find themselves at the cellar-dwelling end of the NRL competition having played 3 games and lost all 3. They've been beaten by last seasons 16th placed wooden spooners the Canterbury Bulldogs in Round 1, then by the NZ Warriors at home in Round 2, and now they've been beaten at home by the Penrith Panthers who make a regular habit of residing in the lower reaches of the NRL ladder more often than not.

Of course, it goes without saying that Super Duper League teams like the Leeds Rhinos would still be very competitive if they played in the NRL competition instead. They'd be seriously challenging for the top positions on the ladder as well as all the top honours down under.

No, really.

Meanwhile... in the real world...

IS GARETH ELLIS RIPPING UP THE NRL?

According to numerous feckwitts Gareth Ellis is ripping it up big style in the NRL for the Wests Tigers. And the feckwitted propaganda doesn't stop there either. There's even a few Aussie no-mark feckwitt journos who have also got in on the act proclaiming Ellis is like "Pommy Granite", who has played 80 minutes for his third consecutive match and he's in "the NRL's top five tacklers" despite suggestions he wouldn't be able to handle the Australian conditions. The only truth in all that is that Ellis has indeed played the full 80 minutes in three consecutive NRL games.

In my search for the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I checked out the official player stats on the NRL website and discovered that Ellis's tackle stats thus far are 38 tackles against the Raiders in Round 1, 27 tackles against the Cowboys in Round 2 and 21 tackles against the Roosters in Round 3, producing a grand total of 86 tackles over the three NRL games he's played in. Do 86 tackles correspond to Ellis being in the top five tacklers in the NRL thus far? The answer is NO! Here is the list of the Top 25 tacklers in the NRL up to, and including NRL Round 3:

1. Nathan Hindmarsh (Eels) - 154
2. David Stagg (Bulldogs) - 140
3. Dallas Johnson (Storm) - 140
4. Cameron Smith (Storm) - 121
5. Nathan Friend (Titans) - 120
6. Luke Douglas (Sharks) - 114
7. Sam Thaiday (Broncos) - 107
8. Matthew Keating (Eels) - 107
9. Nathan Smith (Panthers) - 106
10. Feleti Mateo (Eels) - 105
11. Anthony Tupou (Sharks) - 104
12. Glenn Stewart (Sea Eagles) - 104
13. Dean Young (Dragons) - 96
14. Ian Henderson (Warriors) - 96
15. Craig Fitzgibbon (Roosters) - 94
16. Jeremy Smith (Dragons) - 94
17. Trent Waterhouse (Panthers) - 94
18. Robbie Farah (Tigers) - 93
19. Ben Hannant (Bulldogs) - 92
20. Isaac De Gois (Knights) - 92
21. Matt Prior (Dragons) - 92
22. Ashley Harrison (Titans) - 90
23. Anthony Laffranchi (Titans) - 89
24. Andrew Ryan (Bulldogs) - 89
25. Matt Hilder (Knights) - 87

So Ellis doesn't even make the Top 25 tacklers in the NRL so far and resides outside of that select group. Nor does he make the Top 25 in terms of hit-ups or metres gained either.

None of this is an attempt to rubbish Gareth Ellis's contributions in the NRL for the Tigers because in my opinion, he's doing about as well as can be expected at such an early stage in his career down under. His future looks promising and I'm confident he will go from strength to strength in the NRL and make a bloody good fist of it.

However, some people (mainly feckwitts of course) need to gain a sense of perspective. In the wake of England's finest players disastrous World Cup followed by Leeds Rhinos being dismantled on every level in the WCC by Manly, there's a desperation to cling on to any news that places Super League and Super League players in a positive light. It just happens to go without saying that such desperation often beds in nicely with feckwittery and talking complete and utter bollox.

In my most humble and thoroughly researched opinion of course ;-)

PS: 38 tackles in Round 1, 27 tackles in Round 2 and 21 tackles in Round 3. I hope that isn't a sign of a downward trend in workrate on Ellis's part, though I'm sure he will appreciate just how tough it is backing up week in, week out in the NRL.

PPS: Oh, and Gareth, quit taking the bait from gobshite tosspot sledgers like Willie Mason. 21 tackles this weekend suggests you were spending way too much time chasing him around the pitch. Just concentrate on doing the job you're paid to do. TIA.

WILL JORDAN TANSEY MAKE HIS ROOSTERS DEBUT NEXT WEEK?

I've never quite got this? And I still don't. In fact I thought it was a joke when the rumours first surfaced last season that the Sydney Roosters from the NRL were interested in signing Jordan Tansey from the Leeds Rhinos.

But sure enough, it turned out to be true and they did sign him on loan. I'll be fucked if I know what they see in him. Maybe there's some hidden talent there they've identified on videos or DVD's or summat? Maybe they've identified that it ain't too late to teach him the basic skill sets and produce a player of some quality? That certainly wasn't ever gonna happen over here as we've produced very little in the way of quality players during the entire Super League era.

Anyhow, Jordan hadn't yet made a big enough impression in any of the Roosters pre-season trial games to gain a first grade NRL berth this weekend, and instead was shipped off to the Roosters feeder club, the Newtown Jets in the NSW Cup where he was selected to play at five eighth. He scored a consolation try near the end as the Newtown Jets were hammered 42-10 away against the Shellharbour Dragons.

However, the Roosters took an even bigger hammering this weekend in NRL Round 1 at home to South Sydney, to the tune of 12-52! So who knows? Perhaps plenty of Roosters first graders might be getting the chop this coming week and Tansey might get his NRL chance in Round 2?

Watch this space :-)

SUPER LEAGUE - IT AIN'T RUGBY LEAGUE!

Rugby League is my favourite sport. Depressingly, I havent seen a great deal of Rugby League being played at Super League level for a very long time.

What happened? When did it happen? Where did it all go wrong? Who was responsible for it? When was tackling practically outlawed? Who decided the ruck area should no longer be contested? Who decided teams ought be kept as far apart as possible? Whose idea was it that our players have no requirement to be equipped with even a basic set of skills in either attack or defence? Who are those people who are obsessed with the idea of a low intensity, free-flowing and allegedly entertaining style of Super League which is practically devoid of any skill, class or creativity, and which usually consists of five scoots of ten metres or more per set of six from dummy half in wide open spaces? Or the occasional flat pass to stationary backs... once again, in wide open spaces?

An opposition defender merely has to touch or tap an attacking player these days and he's deemed tackled... the referee's voice booms with 'TACKLED!... MOOOOOOOVE!... GET BACK!... GET AWAY!... SURRENDER! All in the quest for yet another tediously quick PTB in wide open spaces and yet another tedious scoot of 10 metres or more from dummy half or first receiver.

I wasted a tiresome 10 minutes of my life on Friday night watching some of the Leeds V Wigan game on Sky. And yes, you guessed it... no intensity... lots of wide open spaces... no desire for any player to tackle any opposition player, or perish the thought, a penalty will be awarded because the defender didn't MOOOOOOOVE!... GET BACK!... GET AWAY!... SURRENDER!... within a nanosecond of brushing an opposition player.

There was one instance of Rob Burrow crabbing and jinking across field for what seemed like an eternity, where no Wigan player either couldn't be arsed, or just dare not attempt to tackle him for fear of giving away a penalty for having the audacity to encroach upon Burrow's personal space (FFS!). After several seconds of crabbing jinks under no pressure whatsoever (there was no Manly or Anthony Watmough hovering around NRL-stylee on this occasion to legally smash him), Burrow puts up an ordinary bomb (under no pressure) and Ryan Hall collects it (under no pressure) and scores a try in the corner. According to those clowns on Sky (Eddie & Stevo) it was all SUUUUPPPPEEEERRRRBBB! From Burrow, it was sheer skill of the highest calibre... it was world class stuff.

Fuck off! It was crap.

We've seen plenty of evidence of late with regards to just how far our Super League game lags behind the Australians and Kiwis from the NRL. The RLWC was an absolute disaster for England. Our very best players were shown up for having no skill sets in attack, no idea how to unlock opposition defences at the highest level, utterly clueless and naive in decision making and defence, and no idea whatsoever of even reading something as simple as angled dummy runners or second man plays. The very same shortcomings of our players were once again exposed by Manly in the recent WCC, and quite frankly it's embarrassing.

I have to watch the NRL to see some real, competitive and classy Rugby League these days, where the ruck area is actually contested... where real skills are on show. If I want to see some real Rugby League in this country where tackling hasn't yet been outlawed in the quest for what is deemed in feckwitt circles as entertainment, then I have to watch the local amateur RL scene. It might not be fast paced, but at least it's honest, it's contested, and it still resembles the sport of Rugby League which I enjoy.

The Aussies do play a version of Super League but they happen to be mostly mates of mine over there who play it for fun. They call it Oztag :-)

QUEENS!

Last weekend saw some rather unsavoury incidents take place at a Challenge Cup Round 3 tie between Doncaster (of National League 1) and amateur side Queens (of the CMS Unison Premier Division).

Queens originally drew Doncaster at home and the game should have been played at their home ground at Bus Vale. However, Doncaster were having none of that and they whinged and whined their guts out to the spineless RFL, managing to get the game switched to the Keepmoat Stadium, citing reasons such as better safety and security measures in place there. One could be forgiven for thinking that the real reason was they didn't fancy the trip to Bus Vale in Meanwood and fancied a more comfortable home tie instead. This hardly suited Queens since they weren't even going to get a share of the gate money.

Anyhow, to cut a long story short, Queens turned up at Doncaster and gave the NL1 side quite a scare. With Doncaster only leading 16-12 after 63 minutes of play, the game was in the balance. At that point, a brawl among the spectators took place and the game ended up being abandoned due to crowd trouble. The irony of Doncaster's claim for a home tie that they had superior safety and security measures in place is not lost on me. Someone at the club actually had to phone the police to turn up in order to sort the crowd trouble out!

There's been ample claims and counter-claims put forward as to who caused the trouble in the first place, mostly by people who didn't even attend the game, so how could they know? Apparently, the propaganda line on numerous RL chat boards was that it was either all Queens fault, or mostly Queens fault. Their team and their supporters are aggressive... they are intimidating... they were pissed... they were hell bent on causing trouble... they have a track record of causing trouble... they caused trouble because their team were behind on the scoreboard... there were Leeds Utd supporters among their ranks who couldn't afford the soccer trip down to Bristol that afternoon, so they fancied a ruck in Doncaster instead... they are animals, etc.

Queens countered all the flak aimed in their direction by claiming that some of their players and supporters were subjected to racial abuse from Doncaster fans. Or were they local amateur supporters from Moorends who had played Queens the previous week, without any incidents I might add? Who knows what happened, I don't know what happened or what caused it because I wasn't there.

Suffice to say it was a disappointing end to Queens run in the Challenge Cup, and it came as no surprise to me that the tie was awarded in Doncaster's favour, courtesy of a RFL ruling which states that any tie abandoned after more than 60 minutes duration can be awarded to the team who was in front on the scoreboard at the time. Well that just conveniently happened to be Doncaster, so they were awarded the game. Would Queens have been awarded the game had they been leading by a miserly 16-12 with 17 minutes to go instead? Would it bollox!

What really hacks me off about the way the game of RL is administered is how different rules apply to the bigger clubs and their star players. It's almost like there's a Caste System in place to secure the privileges of the rich at the expense of the poor and poorer. Hull last season fielded an ineligble player (Jamie Thackray) in the Challenge Cup. A lower-profile club from outside of Super League would have been kicked out of the competition for blatant infringement of the rules. Instead Hull were allowed to continue, reach the Final itself and pocket all the dosh. If a Keiron Cunningham gets busted for taking HCG, or a Keith Senior or Ryan Bailey get busted for taking ephedrine, they get a slap on the wrist. Players of a lesser profile or players from the lower leagues would get banned for a year or two. It all stinks!

I turned up at Bus Vale this weekend to watch Queens at home to Hunslet Old Boys in the Leeds & District Cup. It was a magnificent game played in fantastic spirit among players and fans alike, with the Old Boys hanging on at the end to register a deserved 28-22 victory. No trouble and not a hint of trouble either. Nor has there been any hint of trouble at any Queens game I've attended. Strange that, eh?

IS JAMIE LEON'S SHIRT ON EBAY YET?

There's a rumour doing the rounds that Jamie Leon's Manly shirt which he wore at Elland Rd on Sunday during the WCC game against the Leeds Rhinos will very soon be making a reappearance when it's listed for sale on eBay.

The other rumour doing the rounds is that it ain't Jamie Leon who is selling it either.

I wonder who could be selling it instead?

Hmmm... tough one, that! :-)

LEEDS RHINOS DEMOLISHED BY MANLY!

Almost everything about the World Club Challenge is set up to favour the reigning Super League champions. Home advantage, familiar playing conditions, 3 SL games played and match fitness already established, competing against out-of-season NRL champions who are always going to be undercooked and lacking in match fitness this time of the year, and who have to acclimatise from travelling from the other side of the globe.

However, Manly Warringah didn't stick to the usual WCC script this time around. They put in a considerable amount of preparation, arrived in the UK two weeks prior to the WCC with an almost full squad of first teamers (apart from Brent Kite), played half of a warm-up game against the Quins the week before and, in a nutshell, were more determined and taking it more seriously than some previous NRL champions. The indications were that Leeds could well be in for a tough night and so it proved to be.

Forget the scoreline of 20-28 which flattered Leeds. They were found to be hopelessly out of their depth in all areas last night. Outplayed, outclassed and outgunned by a superior NRL team who are still weeks away from hitting anywhere near top gear. Leeds were bamboozled as they were faced by superior ball-handling skills, crisp and slick handling, jinks, superior footwork, pace off the mark, tactics, nous, kicking ability, dummy runners running unfamiliar angles to what Super League players are accustomed to, runners running on to the ball at speed, proper tackles, hard tackles, effective tackles... all things Leeds rarely (if ever) have to encounter in a Super League fixture against mediocre opposition.

It was no surprise last night to be surrounded by feckwitted Leeds Rhinos supporters who booed at the referee at every opportunity. They have become so accustomed to the Super League style of teams being kept apart, quick PTB's and easy metres gained via tedious dummy half runs in wide open spaces that when faced with an opposition who actually plays real Rugby League with skill, accuracy and aplomb, they are as perplexed as the Rhinos players and end up whinging their guts out ad nauseam.

BOOOO! Bloody Aussies! Dominant tackle? What's all that about? Should be banned! GET OFF OUR PLAYERS! BOOOO! You touched Peacock, he's tackled, GERROF HIM! You tickled McGuire, brushed his hair, parted his hair, so he's tackled, GERROF HIM! Dirty Manly get that Matai fella, he just poked a finger in Lee Smith's direction, so he's tackled, and if not, it's gotta be a penalty to Leeds. GERROF HIM! Watmough just blew a kiss at Burrow, he's bloody tackled, OK? GERROF HIM! BOOOO! Hang on, that Watmough fella really did just tackle Burrow legally and smashed the poor little mite. What's all that about? So it must be illegal. BOOOO! SEND HIM OFF! GERRIM OFF! GERROF HIM! Let our players get up quickly, play the ball quickly and scoot 10 to 20 easy metres. Hardly any bloody skills on show from the Leeds players but who cares, eh? It's all about Super Duper League and free-flowing ENTERTAINMENT! ENTERTAINMENT! ENTERTAINMENT!

Thought I'd drop in to substandard.com (or is it feckwitts.com?) today to have a good laugh at the litany of excuses trotted out there for Leeds pummelling and I wasn't disappointed. The ref was a disgrace (obviously), Manly were offside all the time, Manly were allowed to lie on in the tackle, some feckwitt misplaced their lucky conker, ref didn't blow time-off near the end thus depriving Leeds of a window of opportunity to snatch a win from the jaws of defeat. How ironic that it was actually Lee Smith niggling away at Matt Orford after a jinking run which bamboozled several Leeds players, not allowing him a quick PTB which would have resulted in another Manly try, only for a fight to break out instead as Ryan Bailey attempted to king-hit a Manly player from behind before gutlessly retreating away to a safe distance as per usual. Peacock may have behaved like a prick earlier in the game, getting a deserved pummelling from Josh Perry, but at least he did front up to him.

Leeds got away with a creditable (yet flattering) scoreline last night because, to their credit, they played with pride and never gave in despite the huge gulf in class, even when the game was as good as over. Though you always felt that Manly always had the game won comfortably and had plenty in reserve to score more tries at will if need be.

For Manly, Anthony Watmough fully deserved his MoM award as his performance was immense all night. Brett Stewart and Matt Orford always looked dangerous and a class apart and I liked the look of Shane Rodney who caused us no end of problems when he came off the bench. All in all, the Manly forwards dominated ours (just like the Aussie and Kiwi forwards dominated England's in the RLWC) thus once again dispelling the popular, feckwitted, believist myth that our forwards can somehow match theirs and get the better of them. Yeah, right! For Leeds, Senior and Lauiti'iti were our best on the night, though even their performances were tempered by schoolboy errors in passing into touch and weak defence respectively.

Anyone who thinks it would be a really good idea to play the WCC at any other time than the current time and place slot, or heaven forbid over in Australia needs to think again. Leeds (or any other SL champion club) would lose by 40 or 50... at least.